If you are in a serious relationship, living together or married, major money matters should be discussed. Picture: Karen Sandison/ Independent Newspapers.
Valentine’s Day is about candlelit dinners, gifts and love.
It’s also traditionally the time when some romantics ‘pop the question ‘, slip rings on fingers, changing a partner’s status from significant other to fiancé.
As commitments are made, money, budgets, and the practical aspects of life slip into the background.
The reality with relationships is that eventually, the romance changes form.
Love remains, but reality often in the form of money issues- gets in the way, and everyday issues intrude, says John Manyike, Head of Financial Education at Old Mutual.
“The time to have honest conversations about money is when your status is about to change. It’s the time to show that your personal commitment includes discussing money matters. Unfortunately, some people bury the truth about poor money management, personal debts and money commitments that could take years to pay off,” Manyike said.
“This silence follows them into the new relationship, moving in and marriage. When the marriage is in community of property, finding out that your new spouse isn’t a good money manager can stress or destroy a relationship. This is because you share your partner's debts and can even be required to pay off all your spouse’s debts if they cannot do so,” he further added.
He said that if you are in a serious relationship, living together or married, major money matters should be discussed.
Topics should include:
One of the most common sticking points is whether finances are to be ‘blended’ with all the income being used equally for each other’s benefits.
In partnerships where one person earns substantially more than the other, failing to decide on how funds are used can lead to bitterness.
Basic financial matters also need to be discussed as they set the foundation for any serious relationship, says Manyike.
“Without having a budget, spending can get out of control very quickly. Instead of arguing about small items, it is often easier to set your goals when building a budget. First, set aside savings to meet these ambitions and then discuss day-to-day expenses.”
“A savings plan should include smaller goals, like setting up an emergency fund. Achieve this target and then look at short, long-term and investment strategies. Just as important is ensuring that there is money to do the things you enjoy. Planning for that annual holiday, a trip or special event is important.”
“Valentine’s Day is a great way of showing someone that you love and appreciate them. But it is only one day of the year.”
“A relationship involves being together for the other 364 days. Planning for the year, making sure that you are financially secure and that money worries do not dominate your lives, is the truly significant gift,” says Manyike.
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