Why celebrity breakups captivate us: insights from relationship experts
South Africa was recently rocked by the heartbreaking news of Siya and Rachel Kolisi’s decision to end their marriage.
The couple's announcement, made through a joint statement on social media, conveyed a sense of respect and love as they expressed their commitment to remain friends and co-parents.
The emotional weight of their separation has sent ripples through Mzansi, capturing the attention of fans and haters alike.
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The Kolisis are not alone. The realm of celebrity break-ups has been crowded with high-profile couples experiencing the pain of heartache.
Just days before the Kolisi news, the noise of a potential split between artists Kelvin Momo and Babalwa M also sparked intense speculation online.
But what fuels our obsession with such celebrity heartaches? Relationship experts suggest that our emotional investment in these dramas often feels intensely personal.
According to intimacy and relationship coach Tracy Ziman Jacobs, the public's reaction often stems from the depth of commitment we've felt towards these celebrities.
“Celebrity breakups are often a shock to the public as they make headlines and capture our interest and curiosity. Some feel personally betrayed, as we have followed these celebrities with so much commitment and dedication.
“We begin to feel we know them personally. We feel let down, disappointed, and protective over one of the partners, feeling we need to choose sides. When there has been infidelity we are shocked to the core as if the event has happened to us personally!”
“Their relationships feel like real-life fairytale. We follow their highs and lows as a shared experience which, in turn, creates connection among fans.
“We feel a sense of belonging to a ‘tribe’ of sorts. When celebrities break up, it sparks interest and debate among fans. The fascination lies in a mix of psychology, media influence, and the universal human experience of love and loss,” she added.
Ziman Jacobs said the media also plays a significant role in amplifying this interest.
“Headlines on social media, magazines, and entertainment sites bring constant updates that make the breakups hard to ignore.
“Every leaked photo or cryptic post becomes a puzzle that fans feel compelled to solve, keeping the intrigue alive and creating an environment where people speculate and form opinions.
Furthermore, celebrity breakups can help fans process their own romantic experiences.
They see their favourite stars navigate heartbreak publicly, which can be comforting or even validating.
Witnessing someone else’s breakup, especially a high-profile one, can offer insights or relatable emotions, making people feel less alone in their own experiences,” she said.
Moreover, Shelley Lewin, a relationship architect, author, and founder of The Relationship Architect Coaching and Education, had the below to share.
Projection of personal hopes and fantasies
Celebrities often represent ideals - of love, success and happiness - that many of us aspire to.
When a high-profile couple, like Siya and Rachel Kolisi, goes through difficulties, it can feel as though our hopes have been shaken.
We project our fantasies onto these relationships and when they fall apart, it creates an emotional ripple effect.
The illusion of personal connection
With social media giving us glimpses into celebrities' private lives, many people feel a sense of closeness or familiarity with public figures.
This parasocial relationship makes their break-ups feel personal as if we are emotionally invested in their happiness.
When their love story ends, it can feel like a personal loss.
The impact on creative output
In cases like Kelvin Momo and Babalwa M, where personal relationships are intertwined with professional collaboration, the stakes feel even higher.
Fans worry that the end of a relationship might mean the end of artistic magic they’ve come to love. We often fear that the music, stories or art we connect with will disappear along with the relationship.
Escapism and collective experience
Following celebrity relationships allows people to escape their everyday lives and bond with others over shared emotions, whether those emotions are joy, disappointment or curiosity.
It provides a sense of community and belonging, especially when everyone is talking about the same event.
Lessons in imperfection
Celebrities remind us that love isn’t easy, even for those who seem to “have it all”.
Their breakups serve as a public mirror for our relationships, forcing us to confront the realities of love, loss, and impermanence. It is both reassuring and unsettling to know that no relationship is immune to challenges.
Hope for redemption and second chances
Whether we realise it or not, many of us are drawn to narratives of redemption.
We hope for reconciliation or at least a happy ending for those we admire, which explains why people remain invested even after a break-up is confirmed. Their story offers us hope for our second chances in life and love.