How to support your teen through academic pressure - expert advice
Parents are urged to engage with their teens by asking what they need from them.
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As a new academic year unfolds, parents are grappling with the challenges of supporting their teenagers.
Lumka Kraai, an occupational therapist at Netcare Akeso Umhlanga, specialising in adolescent mental health, advises that understanding and consistent support are key in helping teens navigate the pressures of school and extracurricular activities.
“The first thing to understand is that all teens are not the same. What works for someone else’s child won’t necessarily work for yours,” said Kraai.
She cautioned against copying what worked for a neighbour’s teen or even an older sibling, warning that parents place themselves at a great disadvantage when they try to apply a ‘one size fits all’ approach.
Occupational therapist Lumka Kraai offers advice to parents
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To cultivate a supportive environment, Kraai urges parents to engage their teens directly by asking what they need from them.
“Offering academic support to your child throughout the year is important, but that alone is not enough. They need to be supported emotionally as well.
"It’s amazing how often we forget that the person with the most insight into supporting your teen is your teen,” she said.
Kraai said seeking additional support from school wellbeing staff or mental health professionals can be a proactive step, and not a sign of failure.
“Ultimately, the most powerful support a parent can offer is a safe, consistent relationship. When children feel understood, supported, and accepted, they are far better equipped to navigate the academic and emotional demands of the school year.
“Your teen doesn’t need a perfect parent – they need a present one. Someone who knows when to step in, when to step back, and when to hand over the car keys and trust that all those years of guidance will kick in,” said Kraai.
Beyond emotional support, Kraai insists on the importance of teaching practical skills such as time management, planning, and organisation. Here are some of her practical strategies for parents:
Share the family calendar digitally. Your child can then see when you’re busy too, making planning less about nagging and more about everyone being on the same page.
Create a practical household routine together. We all thrive and function better with routine. Include everything from chores to downtime, and yes, that means scheduled time to scroll TikTok guilt-free.
Institute “Sunday resets.” A weekly session in which the family plans for the week ahead to prevent Monday morning meltdowns.
Build in sensory breaks between homework sessions – a quick walk or stretch can work wonders.
Regular off-screen family time: Make it enjoyable and engaging, rather than a punitive measure.
To ease the pressure, Kraai suggests:
Make time for fun as a family. Not everything needs to be about good grades, preparing for university, and life beyond. Keep communication lines open – but don’t interrogate them the moment they walk in the door.
Resist the comparison trap. Avoid comparing them to others, including their peers and siblings. Your teenager already does enough of that on social media.
Watch for warning signs. Sudden isolation, mood swings, outbursts of anger, or a loss of interest in activities they used to love could signal something deeper.
Build a support network. Regular check-ins with teachers, coaches, and other adults in your adolescent’s life can help you spot issues you might otherwise miss. Even the most independent child needs reminders about self-care, especially during exam season.
Finally, Kraai highlights essential requirements for well-being:
Consistent sleep schedules – eight hours a night, with the same sleep and wake-up times.
Regular, balanced meals that go beyond caffeine and snacks.
Daily movement, whether it’s sport, walking, or dancing in their room.
Protected fun time, especially at weekends – bonus points if it’s with family.