"Old men have no business dating teen students", says Nomagugu Simelane as province expands HIV prevention drive

KWAZULU-NATAL Health MEC Nomagugu Simelane has issued a stern warning to students entering tertiary institutions, cautioning them against inter-generational transactional relationships with older men who lure them with material gifts and promises of a lavish lifestyle.

Speaking during the KZN Health Chat multimedia programme broadcast from the provincial headquarters of the KwaZulu-Natal Department of Health at the Natalia building recently, Simelane urged young people to prioritise their education, health and long-term aspirations over short-term temptations.

"Our children must be aware that these old men like to lure them with expensive mobile phones, hair extensions, alcohol and the good life. They must be careful and not succumb to that, because the consequences might be disastrous," she said.

The MEC also emphasised that significantly older men should not be pursuing teenage students.

"A 27 or 30-year-old man has no business dating an 18 or 19-year-old. Those people must go to their contemporaries," she said.

She further warned that inter-generational transactional relationships expose young people to heightened risks of HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), particularly as older partners may have extensive sexual histories.

She added that unprotected sex could lead to unplanned and unwanted pregnancies, potentially disrupting academic progress and future prospects. She noted that young women between the ages of 15 and 24 remain the most vulnerable to HIV infection, underscoring the need for safer sexual practices, informed decision-making and early access to prevention services.

In a move to expand HIV prevention options, Simelane announced that the department would soon release a list of healthcare facilities across the province offering Lenacapavir, a new long-acting HIV prevention injection administered once every six months.

The initiative forms part of broader efforts to strengthen prevention measures among young people and other vulnerable groups.

Simelane continued to remind the youth that financial independence and success require patience and perseverance as well as urging them to remain focused on their long-term goals.

"What is important for children to understand is that they are still at the beginning of their journey. They will eventually find jobs, earn a salary, and get to where they want to be," she said.

"If you allow yourself to be lured by material things, you may find yourself in a compromising position that may be quite difficult to get out of."

She expressed concern about reports of young people, both male and female, engaging in transactional relationships or sex work in pursuit of material possessions. The MEC further urged students not to rush into adult responsibilities, warning that tertiary students are generally not ready to start families.

"We want to urge our children who are starting life at tertiary institutions to take care of themselves. When you’re still a student, you are nowhere near ready to bring a life into the world," she said.

She also encouraged those who have chosen abstinence to remain steadfast, stressing that there is no urgency to become sexually active. For students who are already sexually active, Simelane called for responsible behaviour, including practising safe sex and utilising free reproductive health services available at campus clinics and public healthcare facilities.

"Most tertiary institutions do have clinics. But over and above those clinics, we also have primary healthcare clinics that are closer to them. We have condoms and various contraceptive methods available free of charge," she said.

Zonke Shazi-Hlongwane, the child and youth practitioner who founded the NGO Ikusasa Ngelami said that many first year students who are away from home, they try to fit in, try to belong and prove that they are now adults. 

She went on to say that many first year students are under financial pressure, where they come from families who are not privileged enough, and their families sacrificed everything for them to study.

"When they arrive on campus and see others living what looks like a "soft life" the pressure increases," says Hlongwane

“Older men understand this vulnerability. They do not only offer money. They offer attention, stability, lifestyle and validation. For a young woman who feels insecure or overwhelmed, that can feel like safety. But it is not equal. It is a power imbalance from the beginning,” she added

She highlighted that when gifts and money are exchanged for intimacy, a young woman can begin to link her value to what she can provide physically, causing the weakening of internal self esteem over time.

In the long run it confuses her the understanding of love and partnership.

"She may normalize control, secrecy or emotional manipulation. In the long term, this can affect her confidence, academic focus and future relationships," she says

Shazi-Hlongwane urged parents and universities to watch for red flags such as sudden access to expensive items, secrecy about older partners, withdrawal from friends, mood changes, and defensiveness.

“The biggest red flag is isolation. Exploitative relationships thrive in silence.”

Shazi-Hlongwane also urged families to have honest conversations with their children about money, relationships, and boundaries, adding that in campus levels, there should be Financial literacy workshops, accessible counselling, and emergency support and lastly in Government level there should be stronger student funding systems and integration of HIV prevention with education on power and consent.  

"Prevention must start early. We must raise girls who understand their worth beyond material gain. As I often say: when a young woman truly believes she is enough, she is less likely to trade herself for temporary security." 

SUNDAY TRIBUNE