Jessica White is ‘’still healing’’ from her relationship with Nick Cannon.
The 38-year-old model dated 'Masked Singer' Cannon Nick, 42, on and off between 2015 and 2020 following his split from pop star Mariah Carey, but has now admitted that she felt as if he was ‘’never proud’’ to have her by his side and is ‘’proud’’ to be telling the ‘’truth’’ about the relationship.
She wrote on Instagram: ‘’I want the world to know that I didn't always feel good, like (Nick) was proud to have me as a partner. I'm so happy I can say that now and still know how awesome I am. I'm proud I can say the truth and how I'm healthy emotionally and wouldn't change my insane insecurities that I prayed off my life.
‘’I never felt love that was safe, even as a kid. So no, Nick, you didn't cause that pain, I had it long before us, but I put it off on you unfairly without seeing that my healing needed to be deeper past us. I mean, you added to it, but my fear of not being loved wasn't broken by you. I'd like to publicly say that.’’
White went on to insist that she is ‘’not ashamed’’ of her own beauty and success and explained that both she and Cannon were ‘’beautifully broken’’ as children and only went on to hurt each other.
She added: ‘’I know the truth now about just how much healing I needed, and God has taken my hurt. I'm not ashamed by being beautiful and successful and not being loved with care throughout my life because there's big big love coming to me that will fill up my memories with joy.
‘’God will get the glory out of my broken past, not shame nor sadness. The truth is NC and I were both beautifully broken when we were children and didn't know how to love each other. Instead, we hurt each other.’’
The former Nickelodeon star has 11-year-old twins Monroe and Moroccan with ex-wife Carey, Golden, six, Powerful, three, and seven-month-old Rise with Brittany Bell, two-year-old twins Zion and Zillion and seven-month-old Beautiful Zeppelin with Abby De La Rosa, Legendary Love, 1 1 months, with Bre Tiesi, and Onyx, eight months, with LaNisha Cole, and most recently welcomed Halo Marie with Alyssa Scott in December, one year on from losing their son Zen to brain cancer and in 2021.
White admitted that their split came about amid his announcing that Bell was expecting around the time she had suffered a miscarriage.
She said: ‘’She was aware that I had just had a miscarriage, two weeks prior to her news coming out, because he told me that he told her. And I was living at his house, she knew that as well. But I found out on Instagram along with the rest of the world.
‘’I was going through still my hormonal changes, and we were about to start in vitro. So when I came out, people thought I was this home-wrecker.
“No, there was a real-life going on. I was bullied for months with that whole situation. I still tried to be nice about it. We didn't break up right away. We tried to work things out.’’