By Sharon Gordon
Orgasm Day is coming up on July 31. Yes, there is a day that celebrates that oh so wonderful feeling many of us chase. Statistics tell us that about 10% to 15% of women have never had an orgasm.
Surveys suggest that up to half of women are not satisfied with how often they reach orgasm. The same is not true for men. We’ve found a new word for it – the orgasm gap.
I’m a firm (pun intended) believer that the reason women battle to reach orgasm or have such a difficult time is because we just don’t know our bodies and have never been allowed to masturbate. For those of us who do, many feel incredibly guilty about it. Pleasure has never been a part of the female sexual response agenda.
There are many ways to explore your body and retrain your mind around the discomfort you might feel. Exploring with adult toys is another firm favourite. I know you think that being the owner of Lola Montez and sex toy sales woman, I have to say that but it’s not like that. I did all that and started the Lola Montez Brand because I believe that toys are part of our play and can help us explore and have fun. They are called “toys”, after all.
I know that the wonderful world of the adult toy shop is as confusing as choosing the right candy. If you’re a sweet-tooth person, you’ll know that it difficult to choose between Fizzers, Wine Gums or Chocolate, because we know there is a time and a place for them all. I usually get several of each just in case the urge grabs me.
I’m the same with adult toys. Several for every occasion. I’m going to assume that you have not been initiated into this wonderful world and you might be overwhelmed by the choices and categories available. Take a browse through my site, www.lolamontez.co.za, and you’ll see what I mean.
Tips on how to decide:
Whether you’re an accomplished adult toy user or a beginner, you have to decide what you are looking for. Prioritise safety and pleasure.
Consider the following:
Functionality
Size and comfort
Materials
Lubricant
What do I mean by “functionality”? Let’s start with why you are buying the toy. Are you going to be using it with or without your partner? Our recommendation for a first-time user is to buy something for yourself. Use it on your own first. Explore, play and see what feels good. Where do you like to use it most?
I know that seems like an odd question, considering it’s your genitals that need more attention, but you might like your nipples stimulated more.
I recently brought in a toy, “Lelo Dot”. It’s an odd-looking thing, but I had to add one to my collection.
Thinking about it gives me goosebumps. I use it on the tip of my forehead where my hairline starts. We forget that our skin is the most erogenous zone of all.
You also need to explore if you’re a clit or G-spot woman. Most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation and not penetration. But maybe you like a bit of both. There are toys for every part of the body.
Toys range in functionalities, from levels of vibration and pulses to textures, colours and where best to use them. I don’t think colour matters but you’ll find it difficult to find a yellow toy on our site. Purely because it’s my least favourite colour.
Some are remote or app controlled – great for partner play, especially if he lives far away.
Each toy can cater to a desire. You just need to understand what your desires are.
Next is size and comfort. We all have a favourite. I prefer clitoral stimulating toys, but many prefer a bit of clitoral and G-spot stimulation. A rabbit-style toy works best for this. My advice is always start small and work your way up in size and kick.
For some reason, men want to purchase the biggest and meanest-looking product. Women choose prettier and smaller. It’s like lingerie – women buy black or red and men choose white.
What suits your comfort level? It might well be a wand. Best toy ever! It’s not popular in this country and I’m not sure why. It is big but is used only on the outside. It is the perfect massager for any reason, making it a perfect disguise if you need one. A wand can be electric, cordless or battery operated.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have bullets. Some even look like lipsticks – the perfect accessory for your handbag. Road rage? No longer a problem!
Materials matter. In the old days when I started out in this business, we didn’t know about body-safe materials. All toys are now phthalate free. The most body safe, if you suffer from extreme allergies, is stainless steel or glass. These are usually dildos (they don’t vibrate).
Alternatively, look at silicone, jelly, rubber, a variety of plastics or real feel. The harder the material, the more noise it’s bound to make. The latest Womanizer, Next, is silent. Not sure how they did it. I saw it in EroSpain and it will be available in SA in about a month or two. Some materials are porous, so always ensure that you clean them before and after use. Or just cover it with a condom. We have an article on our blog on how to clean and maintain your toys (www.lolamontez.co.za/blog).
Last but not least – lubrication.
Lube is the most underestimated toy available. But all lubes are not equal.
Use water-based lube with toys. I love silicone-based lube because it doesn’t dry out. There is a lube for every play you can think of. Everyone has a favourite brand. Mine is Pjur. It’s manufactured in Germany, costs a bit but never goes sticky. I cannot live without it.
Now you know where to start, take a browse through the website. If you don’t know where to go from there, I am always available to guide you. You can email me at [email protected].
Please follow us on social media for the latest tips and products. I also post lots of funnies.
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Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/LOLA.MONTEZ.PAGE/
And for more on toys and videos on how they work: YouTube, https://www.youtube.com/@SharonGordonLolaMontez
Happy Orgasm Day!
Saturday Star