The hidden truth about happiness hangovers: why socialising can leave you feeling blue and how to fix it

Think about the last time you felt truly happy. Not a polite smile. Not a “this is nice” moment. But a full-body kind of joy, the kind that feels sun-drenched and effervescent, where laughter spills out easily and time softens around you.

Now think about how you felt when it ended.

That quiet, hollow feeling that creeps in afterwards, the heaviness, the wistful ache has a name. Psychologists call it a post-event low, but in everyday language, it’s often described as a “happiness hangover”.

And during the festive season, it shows up with surprising intensity.

December and early January are drenched in anticipation. We plan trips, curate outfits, book tables, host dinners, and reconnect with old friends. Our calendars fill, our phones buzz, our dopamine rises.

Then, suddenly, it’s over. The house is quiet. The group chats slow down. Life returns to routine, but your nervous system hasn’t caught up yet.

Let’s unpack this wistful post-social slump, explore the science behind it, and, most importantly, figure out how to reignite your spark.

According to Dr Guy Winch, a psychologist and author of "Emotional First Aid", “we derive a lot of happiness from the buildup to an event. When it’s over, we’re left with a void our brains have to recalibrate.”

Why does this happen?

The science of a happiness hangover is deeply rooted in our brain chemistry. During periods of excitement and connection, our brains release a cocktail of “feel-good” chemicals like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin.

These neurotransmitters create that euphoric sense of joy, belonging and purpose. But when the event ends, these levels can plummet, leaving you feeling emotionally deflated.

Moreover, the brain thrives on goals and forward momentum. Whether it’s planning a big holiday gathering, preparing for a milestone celebration, or even just wrapping gifts, these activities give us a sense of purpose.

When the goal is accomplished, we often experience a “what now?” moment, which can lead to feelings of emptiness, fatigue, or even mild depression.

This emotional dip isn’t limited to the holidays. Weddings, vacations, graduations, or even finishing a major project can trigger the same response. The bigger the emotional investment, the more pronounced the hangover.

Signs you’re experiencing a happiness hangover

Not sure if you’re caught in the throes of a post-event slump? Here are some common signs:

• Low energy: You feel physically and emotionally drained, even though the event was supposed to “recharge” you.
• Loneliness: Despite being surrounded by people, you feel an odd sense of isolation.
• Restlessness: The question “What’s next?” keeps circling in your mind.
• Sadness: A lingering melancholic mood, even if you can’t pinpoint a specific reason.
• Loss of Purpose: Without the event to plan for, you feel a bit aimless.

These feelings are normal, but they don’t have to linger. With a little intention, you can move through the post-joy blues and find your balance again.

How to recover from a happiness hangover

The beauty of the happiness hangover is that it’s temporary, and there are ways to ease the transition back to your everyday rhythm. Here’s how:

1. Lean into gratitude

When the glow of an event fades, gratitude can help rekindle the warmth. Studies published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology show that practising gratitude can significantly boost emotional well-being.

Reflect on the moments that made the experience special. Write down three things you’re grateful for, whether it’s the laughter of friends, the beauty of a sunrise, or even the comfort of returning home. Savour those memories and let them fill the void.

2. Relive the highlights

Just because the event is over doesn’t mean the joy is gone. Reliving positive moments can actually reignite the same neural pathways that made you happy in the first place. Flip through photos, share stories with friends, or replay your favourite moments in your mind.

A positive psychology researcher, “reminiscing allows us to amplify and extend the positive emotions of the original experience.”

3. Create a new goal

Our brains are wired for purpose. When one chapter closes, opening another can give you something to look forward to. Start small: plan a cosy movie night, set a fitness goal, or book your next adventure.

Even micro-goals, like trying a new recipe or redecorating a corner of your home, can reignite that sense of anticipation and momentum.

4. Connect With others

Isolation can amplify post-event blues. Reach out to a friend for coffee or a walk; even a simple conversation can remind you that connection isn’t limited to big events. Oxytocin, often called the “bonding hormone,” is released during moments of connection, helping to lift your mood and ease loneliness.

Finding joy in the everyday

Ultimately, the key to navigating a happiness hangover is learning to find joy in life’s quieter moments. While the gilded glow of the holidays or a milestone event is unforgettable, there’s beauty in the ordinary, too, the whispering calm of a sun-drenched morning, the iridescent shimmer of frost on your window, or the velvet comfort of your favourite blanket.

The post-social slump doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you; it’s a testament to how deeply you invest in life’s meaningful moments. Embrace the melancholy as a natural part of the human experience, and let it remind you of all the beauty you’ve had and all the magic still to come.