Bakhe Dlamini with his wife, Nokwanda, whom he dated for 10 years before their first kiss at the altar.
Image: Facebook/Bakhe Dlamini
In a time where public confessions often centre on scandal, Bakhe Dlamini chose to share a different kind of testimony.
The marriage and family counsellor recently took to Facebook with a revelation that stunned many of his followers. He dated his wife for 10 years without ever kissing her.
“Why we never kissed during 10 years of dating,” he wrote. “We met in 2001 in grade 11 and got married in 2011. No kissing.”
Dlamini explained that the decision was deliberate and rooted in conviction.
“It had been about three years since we had met that we had not kissed, and in an awkward situation, she asked me why we were not kissing. I think she thought there was something wrong with me,” he said, laughing.
“I told her, ‘There is too much fire in my veins. Should I kiss you, it will lead to sex before marriage'.”
He said that he was clear from the beginning that he did not want sex before marriage.
“We believed in biblical Christian principles. We met at Student Christian Fellowship in 2001, and we were both devout Christians.”
Respect also shaped his choice. “There was just something serious about her. She had that virtuous woman quality. I knew she was not the kind to mess with,” he said.
Even when they attended their matric dance together in 2002, they did not kiss.
For Dlamini, being a gentleman meant exercising restraint. “Sex was not in my mind. I wanted to know more about her than her body. I was not going to rush her into sex.”
He added that his sense of calling played a role.
“I knew that I had a ministry calling and a great destiny. I knew the moment I had sex before marriage that my ministry would be compromised. You have illicit sex; that is the end of your ministry."
"The fear of God is key in our generation. There is a lot of rot even on the pulpit. Where do people run to if we as leaders cannot be trusted?”
The couple married in 2011 and shared their first kiss at the altar. “So yes, we got married in 2011 and kissed for the first time at the altar,” he said.
Dlamini has been married for 15 years to Nokwanda Dlamini. “I have never cheated on her. I still live by the same principles I had back then,” he said.
Known for his work on television shows such as “Married at First Sight SA" and “XO Goals”, Dlamini remains vocal about faith, discipline and trust in relationships.